139.4 lbs.

I finally made it past the 140 lbs. mark. I've been somewhat afraid to get on here, for fear that I'd jinx myself out of the desperately desired trend towards actually losing weight.

I have no wonderful and elaborate diet plans, other than to basically not eat, as often and for as long as possible. I take it day by day.

Since I've been so long away, I've got much catching up to do in your blogs. I hope you all are doing well. I've thought of you often, and missed you. It's hard to explain my absence, but the weight loss efforts have been fragile at best; and maintaining control of the situation has been difficult.

I've given in, although not without fear. I'm not sure how to go about eating without all the guilt and fear that inevitably follows--which is unbearable; and I'm afraid of not eating at all, because that usually doesn't turn out very well, health-wise.

I'm still training for my race, and hoping against hope that I've got what it takes. That's the other thing...I've got to somehow give my body nutrients, to be able to keep up with working out. I have purchased some powdered-drink-mix-supplements to help provide protein, carbohydrates, vitamins, and minerals--in the absence of food.

I've put on much muscle, I suppose. I'm fitting clothes that last year at this time fit me at around 130 lbs. I'm very close to 140, so the ratio of fat to muscle must be very different this time around!!! It was discouraging however, to have the scale refusing to give me any positive results for such a long time, unsteady as I was.

My plans for the week, such as they are at this point...cardio on Monday, Wednesday, Friday; weight lifting on Tuesday and Saturday. Thursday and Sunday off.

Well, that's about it for now. I'm going to go see how you all have been these last couple of weeks. Take care. ♥ Luvs to you all. ♥