146.4 lbs.

I was supposed to babysit today, but I'm in the process of cancelling. I suppose I'll be upsetting someone over that, but I can't help it. I need a break. I'm exhausted after the weekend. I love to be alone, so I can only stand being with people for short durations. Being around people wears me out!

Yay. I'm down 1 lb. from two days ago. I met my 1/2 lbs. per day goal over the weekend.

Fast-5 seems to be going well. I'm feeling hungry at the moment, but am thinking a hot coffee will help.

I like that this is so black and white. Eat only one time per day, any type of food (not too much), close to bedtime. Sleep it off, and wait for the next evening before eating again. So simple. So temptation free. I only have to face food 1 x per day.

I'm a bit sore from my run on Saturday. I'm looking forward to another week of working out, and seeing the results of my hard work. My next goal weight is only 2 weeks away, and I need to cover 7.4 lbs. in that amount of time. I hope my body cooperates.

It's hard to imagine being in the 130's again. It's been about a year since I was there last. Bad memories, as I was in super-gain mode at the time. It is ironic: A year ago, I was so unhappy to be at that weight...and now, I'll be happy if I can be. Not that it is near good enough...but from where I've come recently...definitely improvement!!!

I wonder if anyone will think differently about me when I'm starting to be small again? I need for them to change how they see me. I'm so tired of people including me in their fat-conversations, as though I'm one of them. I'm not. That's not me. I do not accept their lifestyle. I do not fail at half-hearted diet attempts, and I do not choose to live my life as a fat person. I am not one of them. This weight gain was a tragedy and a grievous loss that occurred in my life, and I do not joke about it. I have nearly lost my life in order to be thin. That also was a huge failure on my part, and one that I do not intend to repeat, ever again. Nor do I ever intend to repeat the failure of fluctuating weight ever again. I'm through with all of it.

I am not going to lose this battle...I am on the final leg of the race, and I am going to win the championship. I will win by regaining my status of 'tiny' in the world, and I will hold on to it for dear life.